living in anxious moments
I’m finally able to commit myself to being in a room full of people I don’t know. An insufferable element still remains about it, but I’m able to push through the tension of eyes peering down upon me. My mind forms the questions of others: Who is this? Do they know someone here? This is clearly a public event typically only attended by friends and family of the performers.
Sometimes I say the right thing, sometimes I don’t say anything at all. I find it better at times to blend in with nothing, allowing the harmony to remain among those who have gathered together with some common knowledge of each other. I can make an occasional acquaintance here and there, but I don’t allow the pressure to motivate me in any particular direction.
We live in an age where we can capture a still frame of casualness by getting lost in our phones. I’m not against this tactic, but I try to control it to a healthy extent. I want to live in anxious moments like these because you can only grow by allowing yourself the willpower to stand tall in disfavorable moments.
by ty miller