all give no take
What is it to take from someone? Does taking only exist when an offering is on the table? Or do you literally grab from the emotional surplus someone possesses without their permission? What does it say about that other person if they are okay with allowing someone to take from them, but they never really initiated an offering in the first place? Does their passivity clear them of a responsibility they never thought to hold in the first place? In other words, how much have they prepared themselves prior to to be ready in the event that you need them? Have they recognized the signs and are they prepared to extend themselves for you? Have they considered this even a possibility?
Bear with me here.
Conscious giving and taking is another level of unspoken communication. From where I stand today, it is a language only few can translate. Personally, I have never had an issue giving or a.k.a. “knowingly allow someone to take from me”. I have always read people well, taken an interest in them, and always try to follow up with a great deal of empathy. This being my natural disposition, I give without thinking but I’m nonetheless aware it is happening.
My mind gets tortured here.
Is this more a reading situation? Are people that care about you keeping their intuition sharp to recognize the signs that you’re in a position where you need to be offered something. I know that I feel more cared about when someone offers something to take rather than having to unexpectedly grab from their emotional cookie jar, even if they do not mind you grabbing from it.
I want to keep giving, but I want to learn to expect nothing from anyone. It’s draining at times though, and it creates a sense of loneliness.
It’s rare to find people who can bounce back the give and take on an equal pay scale. Unfortunately, even for those people I enjoy, this might have to be established criteria in my head going forward. I will continue to give and not ask for anything, but the train will not stop moving for one person to wait for reciprocation. Some people just won’t reciprocate. I shouldn’t let my feelings be disregarded anymore.
Maybe that is the answer. Keep giving and keep moving. Do not stress the breaks on your life to wait for anyone to share yourself when they can’t share themselves as well. The truth in exploring this is to know where to bend and not break. Understanding and trusting that you are a giver, but knowing where your give is maxed out when you need to take.
by ty miller